Anyone who has lost a loved one dreads the holidays. It's just not the same without them. No matter how hard I tried this year, I just couldn't get into the holiday spirit. We had relatives come from out of town on Christmas Day which really helped. So great to see them but wished they could have stayed longer. It did get our mind off the fact that Anna & Dad weren't with us.
I guess this is something that you learn to deal with as time goes by, and some say it gets easier. I disagree at this point. Dad will be gone 3 years in Feb, Anna will be gone 2 years in March. It seems like just yesterday. There isn't one day that I don't cry for them. Crying for us. They're no longer suffering, but I'm selfish, I want them back. But t doesn't matter what we want, dead is dead and there's not one thing we can do about it but remember the good times and wish they were here. That feeling will never go away. No matter what...
Mom's Birthday was yesterday and I couldn't even give her the one gift that I'm sure she wanted the most, and it breaks my heart. I think she had a decent day but I know it would have been much happier for her had Anna & Dad been there too. So Happy 74th Birthday Mom! You are a strong amazing and kind soul. I don't know how I got so lucky to have you as my Mom.
Until next time.
D
